My hubby and I screamed in joy when we first found out about the pregnancy. It was our first foray into parenthood after being married for just under a year. Imagine our excitement as we rushed to our first gynae checks, received blessings from all our family members, friends, and colleagues, shopped for our first baby items, thinking of how we can do up our first child's bedroom, started thinking of names that will best represent our most heartfelt wishes and love for our lovely unborn child, and googled all over the web for ideas and forums to prepare us for the journey ahead!

Fast forward to the 20th week, we were due for our OSCAR detailed scan. Having discovered the gender - it's a boy (!) at the 18th week, we were not really bothered with the idea of doing a detailed scan. I mean, what surprises can I have anymore, since I already knew the gender of my baby? I was wrong. This was the changing tip of my, or rather our lives.

My boy was diagnosed with Tetralogy of Fallot. "Tetralogy what?", I was stuttering while uttering that sentence between my continuous sobs. A million questions flooded through our minds as the nurses and scan technicians rushed to get the Head of Cardiology into our room, who subsequently confirmed the diagnosis and hurriedly arranged for referral to NUH to hand us over, and also to do subsequent tests for amniocentesis and other related tests for us. How can it be possible when we are both in our prime years? I was only 25 when I conceived, and hubby was only 29. Both of us also did not have any medical issues, and were basically at the pink of our health. Why us? I was told we are at higher risks of a Down syndrome baby among other possibilities. We were also left to decide if we wanted to have an abortion, quickly if it turns out positive. Our world crashed that afternoon.

The next few weeks passed by in a whirlwind. We got involved with the pediatric cardiology specialists, we had confirmed that there is no further known complications, we knew our little boy is a real fighter and still going strong in my womb. It was hard really to get through all these, but thankfully we found the courage to slowly inform the parties that we felt they should know about our battle that both of us were fighting. We knew we could not do this alone. Soon, our immediate family members, bosses at work, close friends were in the know. It was heart-breaking to break the news, especially to our family members, who broke down in front of us almost immediately. However, on hindsight, this was indeed our best decision that we had made, because we knew for sure we cannot fight this battle alone.

For the months leading to the delivery, we got ourselves busy with speaking to the professional cardiac team, and support group whom provided us with much insight of caring for a baby with "special specifications". We were also linked up to families with similar situations, which greatly encouraged us once again that we are not alone! We visited the neonatal intensive care units, to have a feel of what to expect. We continuously googled for more information on how to prepare ourselves for what lies ahead, how will things go after the delivery, what special arrangements we should have so that we will be 100% ready for his arrival. We also took a month away from work to Europe to have our babymoon. We travelled all over Italy seeking spiritual resilience from the churches, we shopped for baby's belongings, we totally enjoyed ourselves. It was a very important trip for both of us, because we knew that with baby's condition and arrival, we probably may not have such chances in the near future. We also wanted to ensure that we can perform our maternal and paternal duties perfectly, we must first recharge and totally release all accumulated negative energy before his arrival. Since we had already chose this path to continue with the pregnancy despite the shortcoming, we must ensure we will give him the best that he should rightfully deserve, irregardless of his health status.

He was delivered via elective Caesarean at 38 weeks gestation, and was immediately admitted into NICU. Surprisingly, we were all relatively calm through the events that followed. Perhaps it was sweetened by the entire smooth process that was well-planned by the team of cardiac and pediatric specialists. Perhaps it was the effect of all the prayers coming in from our family and friends. Perhaps it was the support group friends who constantly checked on us and how we were coping. Perhaps it was all our homework that we had put in while pending his arrival. Bottom line - we made it.

Our dear fighter Lincoln (we named him after a small town in England) went through his first BT shunt operation on his first month birthday, and subsequently completed his total correction full operation at 9 months old. He is currently 18 months old and constantly driving us crazy with his Barney shows, endless attention-seeking acts, running all over a home, in school and in shopping malls (courtesy of mummy). His energy levels never fail to amaze everyone alike. No one, yes no one would had guessed that he had went through so much in his first year of life, or that he was and still remains as a cardiac patient requiring regular follow up. Our school of thoughts remains the same - he deserves no less simply because of his cardiac issue. We are determined to give him the best that we can, just like any other parents. And yes, we are determined to pass on this bout of positive energy from us to him.

And hence, how about us - the parents? This mega episode had turned out to bring our marriage stronger and more knitted than ever. We survived and I must admit that this saga had brought out the best in us and everyone around us. We definitely would not know how resilient and positive each of us can be, without this saga. Our positivity amazes the people around us. We also managed to rally strong help and support from our family and friends. With the renewed sense of positivity and energy, I returned back to work after my maternity leave, and achieved greater heights at work. Our relationship and marriage was ultimately strengthened. All thanks to our precious child.

Choices - we make them everyday. We can choose to ride it out in positivity. We can also choose to despair. The outcome depends on us, the parents to choose the best path for our child. It can be disheartening to go through all these, however it is never the end. It is not the end of the world, unless you decide so.

Feel free to shout for help. Because you are not alone.

Contributed by:
Jessica, Adrian (CHAPPS members)
Parents of a lovely boy - Lincoln